Was ist Optimismus?
Wenn ein Investmentbanker am Sonntagnachmittag 5 Hemden bügelt!
Ein Mann geht in die Bäckerei und bestellt 3 Brötchen. Da fragt die Verkäuferin: " Was hätten sie denn gerne für Brötchen?"
" Ich hätte gerne 3 Normale."
Wieviel ist 5 mal 20 war die Frage. Folgende Antworten kamen.
1. Vom Kaufmann: 100 plus die Mehrwertsteuer, also 119.
2. Vom Autohändler: 100 aber ich muss mindestens 10 % Nachlass geben, also 90.
3. Vom Juristen: Eigentlich 100, aber ich kann ihnen nicht garantieren, ob ich bei Gericht damit durchkomme.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of Stanford,
"And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years--say, a red Corvette?"
The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it.
Ein Computer mit grafischer Oberfläche ist wie ein U-Boot. Öffnet man das erste Fenster fangen die Probleme an.
Sagt die Oma zu Max: „ Du darfst dir von mir zum Geburtstag ein schönes Buch wünschen!“ Max strahl übers ganze Gesicht: „Ui! Das ist toll, Oma! Dann wünsch ich mir dein Sparbuch!“
Ein Dieb geht zu Mc Donals und sagt Geld her aber zz (ziemlich zügig ) .Der Typ an der Kasse sagt : Zum hierausgeben oder mitnehmen?
Wie lernen Kinder von Bankdirektoren zählen? Eine Million, zwei Millionen, drei Millionen, vier Millionen...
Und wie lernen Sie teilen? Ein Teil ans Finanzamt, ein Teil an die Mitarbeiter, 10 Teile nach Luxemburg, 20 Teile nach Liechtenstein, 25 Teile in die Schweiz, 30 Teile auf die Cayman-Inseln...
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British gouvernment conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5->year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun
vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Zwei Arbeitgeber unterhalten sich. Sagt der eine, "deine Angestellten sind immer so pünktlich. Wie machst du das?" Der andere, "ganz einfach, 30 Angestellte und 20 Parkplätze!"
Why did God create economists?
In order to make weather forecasters look good.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Doing Business In Germany
Doing business in different countries of Europe helps you understand the cultural diversities and influences. Knowing about factors like work culture, etiquette and negotiating patterns of a country before doing business there is extremely essential for the success of the venture.
Germans have a reputation of being to the point and extremely professional. So is it true that most of their interactions are rather dull without any humour?
Read on and know more:
1.Germans have a natural aversion towards uncertainty while doing business. They prefer things that are strategically planned and neatly documented. Facts, figures, research and analysis are almost mandatory in Germany, if you want your clients to take you seriously. A slip-up in any documentation can be perceived as frivolous and unprofessional behavior.
2.Germans are often labeled as cold people. Exactly how true is this? Do they have an attitude problem? Well, not exactly. Germans are very private; so dont expect to talk about children, pets or spouse over your business meeting. They prefer keeping their professional life and personal life as separate as possible. Also, most of them have a hard time building trust. So it is best to give your client his space; as the awkwardness will automatically wear off once he gets to know you better.
3.In Germany it is considered rude to communicate on first name basis in professional relationships. Reference with professional titles may be seen as a sign of good manners. While meeting a group of people, greet each individual with a firm handshake.
4.Germans are sticklers for time; so being punctual is an unwritten rule. Remember coming early is considered as rude as coming late. German work culture can be stressful and they really value their own time as well as the time of others. So late or early comers are definitely not welcome.
5.Unlike Italy, small talk has no place in German business meetings. So please refrain from cheesy banter or slapstick jokes. However relevant and intellectual humour may be taken in good stride.
6.Germans prefer to have their schedules planned weeks in advance. So make sure to schedule your meeting at least couple of weeks ahead. In fact, even a long conference call is best planned in advance.
7.The word formality is not a mere formality in Germany. Things like greeting the senior before greeting anybody else in the room is very vital. Also, dont just enter the meeting room and choose your place; let them tell you where to sit.
8.Being dandy or charming is almost pointless with Germans. They are interested in result oriented projects and hard-core facts. Please do not try to speed things, as they take their time to come to a decision and really dislike rushing to conclusions. Previous success stories and high professional qualifications may be mentioned to ensure sincerity on your part.
Doing business in Germany may seem like an overly-painstaking task, but here is the good news. Once you prove yourself, there is no looking back. So you can look forward to a long-term business relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
http://www.cu-factor.com/tool-box/doing-business-in-germany/overview
Germans have a reputation of being to the point and extremely professional. So is it true that most of their interactions are rather dull without any humour?
Read on and know more:
1.Germans have a natural aversion towards uncertainty while doing business. They prefer things that are strategically planned and neatly documented. Facts, figures, research and analysis are almost mandatory in Germany, if you want your clients to take you seriously. A slip-up in any documentation can be perceived as frivolous and unprofessional behavior.
2.Germans are often labeled as cold people. Exactly how true is this? Do they have an attitude problem? Well, not exactly. Germans are very private; so dont expect to talk about children, pets or spouse over your business meeting. They prefer keeping their professional life and personal life as separate as possible. Also, most of them have a hard time building trust. So it is best to give your client his space; as the awkwardness will automatically wear off once he gets to know you better.
3.In Germany it is considered rude to communicate on first name basis in professional relationships. Reference with professional titles may be seen as a sign of good manners. While meeting a group of people, greet each individual with a firm handshake.
4.Germans are sticklers for time; so being punctual is an unwritten rule. Remember coming early is considered as rude as coming late. German work culture can be stressful and they really value their own time as well as the time of others. So late or early comers are definitely not welcome.
5.Unlike Italy, small talk has no place in German business meetings. So please refrain from cheesy banter or slapstick jokes. However relevant and intellectual humour may be taken in good stride.
6.Germans prefer to have their schedules planned weeks in advance. So make sure to schedule your meeting at least couple of weeks ahead. In fact, even a long conference call is best planned in advance.
7.The word formality is not a mere formality in Germany. Things like greeting the senior before greeting anybody else in the room is very vital. Also, dont just enter the meeting room and choose your place; let them tell you where to sit.
8.Being dandy or charming is almost pointless with Germans. They are interested in result oriented projects and hard-core facts. Please do not try to speed things, as they take their time to come to a decision and really dislike rushing to conclusions. Previous success stories and high professional qualifications may be mentioned to ensure sincerity on your part.
Doing business in Germany may seem like an overly-painstaking task, but here is the good news. Once you prove yourself, there is no looking back. So you can look forward to a long-term business relationship.
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
http://www.cu-factor.com/tool-box/doing-business-in-germany/overview
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)