A very special friend of mine sent me this to yesterday. And with special permission he is allowing me to share this with my readers. It is an exert from a book he is beginning to write. He would love any comments you have.
Ladies, remember that men do have feelings too! This is an extreme case of emotional abuse that could happen to anyone, but it rarely happens to men. I felt very strongly about sharing this with my readers. Thank you Sean for allowing me to share your pain, your life, your story and most of all your love and friendship. Your are now on the road to healing and a greater life ahead!
Please enjoy:
After one failed marriage and numerous dates and one night stands I have come to realize that some people are simply unloveable. If you are like me, you are in search of that lasting love that ends your long painful search for true happiness.
Unloveable, It seems impossible until you fall head over heals in love with somebody that has no ability to love back. Often you find yourself crying over the fact that you cannot reach them. You spend your days thinking of ways to break down this invisible fortress that stands between you.
Why can’t they love me back? Why can’t they see how much I love them. Often times this invisible fortress hides a monster. It serves as an excuse for abusing you, for cheating on you, for alcohol or drug abuse. Usually it is the shy, socially awkward, bruised and battered that find themselves renewing their pain daily seeking the love of somebody that has no ability to love back.
It isn’t until you experience true love that you see how blind you are when you are spending all of your energy trying to just simply get them to, “love you back.”
I know your pain. I recently left a relationship of seven years. At the end of the relationship I was ready to move into my car just to get away from the daily torture. How exactly did I stay in a loveless relationship for so long. I ask myself this question every day. Seven years went by and I accomplished nothing but growing older, feeling worthless, and apologizing for being me. I understand now what women go through. It seems that the few moments, or the one day that there aren’t issues, give you hope.
Looking back, I believe that I was so battered, so bruised, my confidence was almost non-existent. I simply found that any day that I was not mistreated, yelled at, belittled or hated was a great day. It gave me hope. It seemed that things might get better.
I feared leaving. How would I leave? Where would I go? I gave every dollar I ever earned up. I would walk away with nothing. All of my friends were slowly shewed away over the course of the first year. It seemed rather hopeless. It seemed as if I had nowhere to turn, no money, no direction. I only knew that I wanted, “ME” back. I wanted the person I was before the relationship. I wanted to smile again. I wanted to have friends. I wanted to go through my day without feeling like I was going insane. I wanted to look in the mirror and see something other than this empty shell of the person I had become.
I am going to tell you my story. I promise there is a happy ending. I wrote this for you. I share my story with you, not as a victim of violence but as a victim of something far more devious. What I experienced is the prerequisite for a physically abusive relationship. It is what happens to people before the physical abuse starts. Some abusers have enough self control not to physically abuse you. Instead you end up with no self confidence, no will to live, no hope for the future, no goals, friends, family or faith.
I am here to tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a way out. If you lose everything today to escape, is your happiness worth it? Is there somebody out there that builds you up, loves you, thinks you are the greatest person ever? The answer is YES, YES, YES!
Over the course of this book I am going to give you my sob story. I know you talk to friends about how bad things are yet do nothing about it. It is scary. It is lonely. And it is your right to be happy.
I will also say this. If you are the one hurting, degrading, causing pain, belittling the person you are supposed to love. STOP IT, TODAY. Just think about how much that person will love you and care for you if you care enough about them to STOP YOUR ABUSIVE WAYS. They will love you ten fold the energy it took you to fix yourself. Stop the cheating, lying, anger, and the hurtful things you say.
Don’t tell them you are going to make changes. Just do it. Spend today and look into your heart and say today is the day when I am going to stop being angry at myself, and the world, and I am going to learn to be happy again. Forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive, forgive, forgive. And stop torturing yourself over things that may have happened in the past. Today, you have control. Today, you can change your life.
I promised you a happy ending. It is the ending that you will truly gain wisdom from, not my pain and misery. The end of my story is the beginning of your new life and the beginning of my new future.
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